Band Quotes from the Sparta Middle School Bandroom
9/11/08 – “The answer is no. Now what did you want?”
10/08/08 – “Just shut up and play.”
10/30/08 – “There are no ‘buts’ in band.”
11/17/08 - “Learn to love the things you hate.”
11/18/08 – “What is that?”
11/19/08 - “Keep your spit to yourself.”
11/20/08 - “God speaks to me through the internet.”
11/21/08 - “That’s it exactly.”
11/24/08 - “Ask not what band can do for you, ask what you can do for band.”
11/25/08 - “Stay healthy, play music.”
11/26/08 - “Fight the midget power.”
12/1/08 - “We’re brass players, we deal in spit and oil.”
12/2/08 - “It’s possible.”
12/3/08 - “Weird, but correct.”
12/4/08 - “It’s on the door.”
12/5/08 - “Thumbs are fingers too.”
12/8/08 - “Make music, not noise.”
12/12/08 – “Use it or lose it.”
2/4/09 – “Blam! That’s it!”
3/17/09 – “Don’t let nobody stomp on yo’ groove bag.”
3/18/09 – “Hit ‘em hard and wish ‘em well.”
3/19/09 – “You’re absolutely wrong about being right.”
3/26/09 - “The sax section, the whole sax section and nothing but the sax section, so help me jazz.”
3/27/09 – “I’m here to teach you… or else.”
3/30/09 – “I let my saxophone do the talking for me.”
3/31/09 – “I’m all over that like a wild dawg.”
4/1/09 – “I’d always rather be playing my trumpet.”
4/2/09 – “I can’t see your horn, therefore it can’t see me.”
4/8/09 – “Go Warriors.”
4/9/09 – “Smoothify or Die.”
4/22/09 – “Work your Mechanism.”
5/1/09 – “Do.”
5/4/09 – “The things rehearsals are made of.”
5/5/09 – “Living in a paralyzed Universe.”
5/6/09 – “It’s my sandwich, Man!”
5/7/09 – “Well, if it’s Jared, then it’s okay.”
5/11/09 – “I read it, therefore it must be true.”
5/12/09 – “Don’t believe everything you read”
5/18/09 – “Protect The Beetle.”
5/19/09 – “Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia” (fear of big words)
5/26/09 – “Why not?”
5/29/09 – “These rehearsals just evolve. They start from scratch and go from there.”
6/9/09 – “π“
6/10/09 – “It doesn’t matter, just sit down and play.”
6/19/09 – “Ugh. Arrow. Touchdown.”
6/23/09 – “Don’t believe everything you think.”
6/25/09 – “Put down that ukelele and play some music.”
6/31/09 – “Special ‘K’ tastes like krap.”
7/2/09 – “Mallets & Brushes & Bears, Oh my.”
7/7/09 – “Those who don’t know; don’t know. Those who do know; have been there.”
7/9/09 – “Music sounds better when you play the right notes.”
9/8/09 – “Dare to dream? Not here… Don’t you dare dream!”
9/9/09 – “I just made that word up.”
9/14/09 – “Okay, I confess. I know a little French.”
9/16/09 – “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.”
9/17/09 – “Crack open the book like an egg and practice.”
9/18/09 – “Chasing the schedule…”
9/22/09 – “Y’all movin’ ta Alabama?”
9/23/09 – “It’s a flute thing, I understand.”
9/25/09 – “Strong; like mallet.”
9/29/09 – “You have many awkward and dolphin-like tools.”
9/30/09 – “I love the smell of valve oil in the morning.”
10/01/09 – “Have no fear. It’s just the reverb.”
10/02/09 – “Mallet Heaven. Gotta love it.”
10/05/09 – “You can tell a lot about a person by the way they agree with you.”
10/06/09 – “You never want to pressure the critical components of your instrument.”
10/07/09 – “I’m a musician. Music hurts my ears.”
10/08/09 – “It’s better to try to hit the high “D” and miss than to never have tried at all.”
10/15/09 – “Oboes and Bells play together well.”
10/22/09 – “Intonation is perspective.”
10/23/09 – “Percussion is life, my friend.”
10/26/09 – “I’m a jerk, but I’m a benevolent jerk.”
10/28/09 – “I are a English Major.”
10/29/09 – “You need to fully apply your rudimental arsenal.”
11/09/09 – “You played that piece like the Giants play football.”
11/10/09 – “You can’t not use congas on Manteca.”
11/11/09 – “Expand your horizons with more cowbell.”
11/12/09 – “I love reverb. Reverb’s like butter on bread.”
12/01/09 – “With key signatures, sometimes two wrongs do make a right.”
12/08/09 – “If you can’t play the note correctly, play it inaudibly.”
12/17/09 – “Keep your words short and sweet in case you have to eat them.”
12/18/09 – “Don’t ask questions that you don’t want to know the answers to.”
1/16/10 – “During each rehearsal, ask yourself the following question, ‘Is my bell up?’”.
2/13/10 – “That sounded good. Don’t do it again.”
3/4/10 – “Trombone is one sweet ride.”
3/5/10 – “FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real.”
3/9/10 – “I need more testromberone”
4/16/10 – “No donuts for Peter”
10/6/10 – “Trombones; everybody means you.”
11/11/10 – “Right notes = Recognizable music.”
11/17/10 – “They’re responding well to treatment.” (referring to the 7th grade band’s status)
11/18/10 – “It’s Harry’s fault.”
1/7/11 – “That was a stately ‘D’. It knocked your music off and everything.”
2/14/11 – “It’s awkward, but cool.”
2/16/11 – “Be unto like Rufus; find your inner metronome.”
2/17/11 – “That was so eight measures ago.”
3/9/11 – “ ‘D’, as in money.”
3/17/11 – “Prepare ye for thy sonic assault.”
3/21/11 – “Back to the business of trumpet.”
3/24/11 – “But. Wait. Okay.”
4/5/11 – “Don’t be gettin’ in my way of gettin’ you better.”
4/11/11 – “Outta sight, outta mind.”
4/15/11 – “It smells like work in here.”
5/3/11 – “I speak for you instrument, ‘Ow, that really hurt.’”
5/6/11 – “He’s texting the President.”
5/13/11 – “Your guess is as good as mine.”
5/17/11 – “Stop having visuals, all of you.”
5/18/11 – “Use them as fills to the next ba-dop.”
5/23/11 – “Music is what feelings sound like.”
5/24/11 – “You need to appreciate the finer things in percussion.”
5/25/11 – “Yabba Dabba Doo – You gotta’ problem wit’ dat’?”
6/20/11 – “Just ask Justin.”
9/21/11 – “Best day ever.”
9/22/11 – “I am BUS! (a local bus driver trying to say that he’s the boss)”
10/10/11 – “Just because I’m wrong doesn’t mean you’re right.”
10/12/11 – “I’m only in your way to educate you.”
10/13/11 – “A little syncopation to brighten your day.”
10/14/11 – “Fingerings will make you wise in the ways of Tuba.”
10/27/11 – “ No sabers in the Bandroom.”
10/28/11 – “I said Hannah not Anna, not Anna not Hannah.”
11/2/11 – “I have my weapon, let’s play music.”
11/3/11 – “Stop dropping your tuba on your head or you’ll have tendonitis in your brain.”
11/9/11 – “That confusion that you speak of would be eighth notes.”
11/14/11 – “Would you like to join my conversation to nowhere?”
11/22/11 – “Timing isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.”
11/29/11 – “You’re giving me string cheese when all I want is downbeats.”
12/22/11 – “I just had a convergence.”
1/3/12 – “It’s so true, it’s painful.”
1/11/12 – “Thou Band dost Rock.”
1/18/12 – “Time flies when you’re having band.”
1/23/12 – “ Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three wrongs make a drummer.”
1/30/12 – “Just because you can play loud doesn’t mean you should.”
1/31/12 – “Stop taking yourself seriously.”
2/7/12 – “You have all the musicality of a truck.”
2/8/12 – “The last six measures destroyed some of my brain cells.”
2/13/12 – “There’s no ‘I’ in better part.”
2/14/12 – “Wow, you’re working really hard to play wrong notes.”
2/16/12 – “He’s a jerk, but he’s a good bass player.”
2/29/12 – “Complain first, ask questions later.”
3/2/12 – “My reed is broken and so is my heart.”
3/8/12 – Percussophile (n) (lat.) 1. A very bad person 2. Someone who should stay away from all percussion instruments (this includes many percussionists and all drummers) 3. Someone likely to appear in various police records
3/13/12 – “Pessimism: It’s a way of life.”
3/16/12 – “You’re being a percussophile; wandering around the percussion section, bad-touching everything.”
3/23/12 – “I must be a pessimist – my coffee cup is half empty.”
3/26/12 – “There’s an “I” in bind but not in band.”
3/27/12 – “Stop making fun of me with your eyes.”
3/28/12 – “That’s your most egregious timing error yet.”
3/29/12 – “You made me better which made me worse.”
4/30/12 – “My concert would suck without you.”
5/1/12 – “Thou shalt not kill but Thou shall strive to be killer.”
5/4/12 – “Nothing says “band” like candy.”
5/22/12 – “Don’t look him in the eyes, he’ll just take that as a threat to take a solo.”
5/24/12 – “That wasn’t just a solo, that was an exorcism.”
5/30/12 – “You can’t handle the cut-time.”
9/17/12 – “Don’t complain. No one cares.”
9/20/12 – “Then thou drool will flow freely from thine mouth.”
9/27/12 – “It’s my way or the exit ramp.”
10/3/12 – “ To wobble or not to wobble; that is the question.”
10/8/12 – Q: “How many measures rest is π?”
A1: “Come in on the upbeat of one in the fourth measure (in swing).”
A2: “In 7/8 or 7/4, it would be 22 counts of eighth or quarter notes respectively.”
A2 (a): “Enter on the second eighth or quarter (respectively) of the fourth measure.”
10/15/12 – “Why hast thou Eb’s forsaken me?”
10/16/12 – “Without music, life would Bb.”
10/18/12 – “Shut no it didn’t.”
10/19/12 – “Long Tones: Boring yet effective.”
11/29/12 – “Time flies when you have the melody.”
12/7/12 – “The reward for playing jazz is playing jazz.”
12/10/12 – “I’m surrounded by weirdos and I’m okay with that.”
12/11/12 – “What happens in the Bandroom stays in the Bandroom.”
1/10/13 – “I hate kids, that’s why I’m a teacher.”
1/14/13 – “Every kind of music is great, except the boring kind.”
1/15/13 – “And so, my fellow Band members: ask not what your band can do for you – ask what you can do for your band.”
1/17/13 – Namicks: One volume level. “Die Namicks.”
1/18/13 – “My part is duller than a drummer.”
2/25/13 – “What is going on here?”
2/26/13 – “You’re better than you think you are but you’re not more important than anyone else.”
3/1/13 – “Woodwinds: The Unbrass.”
3/12/13 – “Snare drum is just that background noise that occurs during band music.”
3/14/13 – “Scales are the gateway to musical understanding.”
3/21/13 – “The clarinet will rise again.”
4/8/13 – “The few, the proud, the Woodwind Ensemble.”
4/9/13 – “A high ‘D’ to brighten your day.”
6/10/13 – “Band = Cool”
6/11/13 – “Self-esteem? Overrated. Character? That’s what counts.”
6/12/13 – “In Time We Trust.”
6/13/13 – “Timeliness is next to Godliness.”
9/24/13 – “Your trumpet playing defies the laws of physics.”
10/28/13 – “I love contact sports; football, lacrosse, percussion.”
11/16/13 – “Flutes: The great wall of shrill.”
11/18/13 – “Become one with your posture.”
11/21/13 – “5/4 Time hurts.”
11/26/13 – “The first step to immortality is mortality.”
12/2/13 – “I don’t know what summatives are but I know I don’t like them.”
12/3/13 – “We’re not going to let a concert stop us from playing music.”
12/6/13 – “Here’s a metaphysical question: Can God be creepy?”
1/6/14 – “He cheated; he practiced.”
1/9/14 – “Free is my favorite price.”
1/28/14 – “What do I have to do to get a simple Bb around here?”
2/5/14 – “Sometimes what I want and what I like are two different things.”
2/12/14 – “It’s weird. Just like you.”
2/20/14 – “Those high ‘B’s’, they’re really turbulent.”
2/21/14 – “You’re polluting the air with lies.”
2/24/14 – “The best effort is mutual effort.”
2/25/14 – “Gentlemen, start your instruments.”
2/17/14 – “You are my favorite student; just like everyone else.”
3/17/14 – “Less talk, more roll.”
3/20/14 – “Uptempo Country music is like Clifford Brown meets Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.”
3/21/14 – “Nothing says ‘Jamaica’ like clarinets.”
3/31/14 – “Complaints first, questions later.”
5/13/14 – “It’s a simple choice: Be inspired, or quit.”
5/15/14 – “How do I prepare for a concert? I check the New York Times Book Review.”
5/19/14 – “I had dinner for breakfast.”
6/5/14 – “I’m distracted by my own metaphor.”
6/16/14 – “Too many saxophones spoil the band.”
9/22/14 – “Coffee defines me.”
9/26/14 – “Seven Tenor Saxes and eight Baritone Horns are a recipe for sonic disaster.”
10/2/14 – “Yep.”
10/7/14 – “It’s so easy, it’s hard.”
10/8/14 – “What part of ‘blah, blah, blah’ don’t you understand?”
10/17/14 – “Give me an ‘F’” “F”
“Give me a ‘Sharp’” “#”
“What’s that spell?” “F#”
10/21/14 – “Scales are the nectar of melodies.”
10/27/14 – “The few, the proud, the Band.”
10/30/14 – “It will…”
11/3/14 – “If at first you don’t succeed, try reading the music.”
11/5/14 – “ ‘D’: as in, key change.”
11/10/14 – “2 – 4 – 7 – 8: What do we appreciate? LESSONS.”
11/11/14 – “In board I trust.”
12/1/14 – “Pride goeth before a wrong note.”
12/4/14 – “I don’t know music but I do know a squeak when I hear it.”
12/5/14 – “Clarinet: Beautifully awkward.”
12/10/14 – “It’s a Band thing, you wouldn’t understand.”
01/08/15 – “There’s no “No thanks” in Jazz Band.”
01/20/15 – “I’m brimming with patience.”
01/21/15 – “Everybody is treated equally unfairly.”
02/05/15 – “I have a glue gun and I’m not afraid to use it.”
02/12/15 – “Does this bass match my outfit?”
03/10/15 – “It’s insane, so let’s do it.”
03/23/15 – “It’s written on the board so it must be true.”
03/26/15 – “I put 2 & 2 together and got π”
04/14/15 – “It won’t affect your playing; just your mood.”
04/23/15 – “Pride goeth before the chair falls.”
04/24/15 – “Valve oil: liquid gold.”
04/29/15 – “It’s why I do Band.”
05/06/15 – “ This is Woodwind Ensemble; the Land of Inappropriate.”
05/12/15 – “My tie is worse than my bite.”
05/13/15 – “Your bad timing couldn’t have been better timed.”
05/26/15 – “Behave yourself by going away.”
07/02/15 – “Led Zeppelin had no sense of time signature."
07/08/15 – “It's so deep, your ears hurt."
07/09/15 – “Michael The King, let's play some swing."
09/10/15 – “Let’s try that high-five again; this time without injury.”
10/01/15 – “You’re not practicing? You should be.”
10/13/15 – “Band first; Everything else second.”
10/14/15 – “I’m a Band Director; I like correct notes.”
10/15/15 – “The ‘C’ Scale is the beginning of Trombone torment.”
10/21/15 – “ “Leaders” “
10/22/15 – “Nothing like a good Montuno to start your day.”
10/26/15 – “We are not obsessed.”
10/30/15 – “Take care of your instrument and it will take care of you.”
11/09/15 – “I need to become more intelligent”
“That was the smartest thing you said.”
11/12/15 – “No more ambulation around here.”
11/16/15 – “Philosophical moments: Gotta’ love ‘em.”
11/19/15 – “The French Horn is the invisible glue that holds the Band together.”
11/23/15 – “I will never ‘Stop Believin’” (as in; Journey)
11/23/15 – “The quote is greater than the source.”
11/25/15 – “Best mistake ever.”
11/30/15 – “No more cymbal assaults.”
12/02/15 – “Stop talking; you’re hurting my ears.”
12/09/15 – “Drummers: No brain, no pain.”
12/10/15 – “Boulevard of Broken Clarinets.”
12/15/15 – “Failure is not an option.”
12/18/15 – “I’m too lazy to sit down.”
1/4/16 – “To Band or not to Band? There is no question. Just Do It.”
1/11/16 – “Cowards die many times before their death; the Valiant never taste of death but once.”
- William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
- “Let’s dance.”
- David Bowie (1947-2016)
1/13/16 – “It’s the only song he can play and he can’t even play that one.”
1/14/16 – “The water in your horn is creating an undiscovered articulation.”
2/8/16 – “Unlike sports, Band has no losers; only drummers.”
2/10/16 – “There’s no substitute for a strong weak hand.”
2/22/16 – “Now is the Winter of our discontent; no more days off until the end of March.”
- William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
2/24/16 – “It’s a Woodwind thing, you wouldn’t understand.”
3/2/16 – “The reed that broke the camel’s back.”
3/3/16 – “Don’t hate the song, hate the way we play it.”
3/8/16 – “Did you teach him to count to three yet?”
3/9/16 – “Put your mallets where your mouth is.”
4/14/16 – “You can lead a Brass player to water, but you can’t make him empty the spit-valve.”
4/22/16 – “It’s a stack of papers which makes it important.”
5/9/16 – “BNA: Band Nucleic Acid – The stuff that Band is made of.”
6/13/16 – “It sounds good until you listen to it.”
6/28/16 – “I like to keep my enemies close and my saxophones closer.”
6/5/16 – “It’s only funny until someone loses a drumstick.”
6/7/16 – “It’s not what you start, it’s what you finish.”
7/12/16 – “Real men play pocket trumpet.”
9/11/08 – “The answer is no. Now what did you want?”
10/08/08 – “Just shut up and play.”
10/30/08 – “There are no ‘buts’ in band.”
11/17/08 - “Learn to love the things you hate.”
11/18/08 – “What is that?”
11/19/08 - “Keep your spit to yourself.”
11/20/08 - “God speaks to me through the internet.”
11/21/08 - “That’s it exactly.”
11/24/08 - “Ask not what band can do for you, ask what you can do for band.”
11/25/08 - “Stay healthy, play music.”
11/26/08 - “Fight the midget power.”
12/1/08 - “We’re brass players, we deal in spit and oil.”
12/2/08 - “It’s possible.”
12/3/08 - “Weird, but correct.”
12/4/08 - “It’s on the door.”
12/5/08 - “Thumbs are fingers too.”
12/8/08 - “Make music, not noise.”
12/12/08 – “Use it or lose it.”
2/4/09 – “Blam! That’s it!”
3/17/09 – “Don’t let nobody stomp on yo’ groove bag.”
3/18/09 – “Hit ‘em hard and wish ‘em well.”
3/19/09 – “You’re absolutely wrong about being right.”
3/26/09 - “The sax section, the whole sax section and nothing but the sax section, so help me jazz.”
3/27/09 – “I’m here to teach you… or else.”
3/30/09 – “I let my saxophone do the talking for me.”
3/31/09 – “I’m all over that like a wild dawg.”
4/1/09 – “I’d always rather be playing my trumpet.”
4/2/09 – “I can’t see your horn, therefore it can’t see me.”
4/8/09 – “Go Warriors.”
4/9/09 – “Smoothify or Die.”
4/22/09 – “Work your Mechanism.”
5/1/09 – “Do.”
5/4/09 – “The things rehearsals are made of.”
5/5/09 – “Living in a paralyzed Universe.”
5/6/09 – “It’s my sandwich, Man!”
5/7/09 – “Well, if it’s Jared, then it’s okay.”
5/11/09 – “I read it, therefore it must be true.”
5/12/09 – “Don’t believe everything you read”
5/18/09 – “Protect The Beetle.”
5/19/09 – “Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia” (fear of big words)
5/26/09 – “Why not?”
5/29/09 – “These rehearsals just evolve. They start from scratch and go from there.”
6/9/09 – “π“
6/10/09 – “It doesn’t matter, just sit down and play.”
6/19/09 – “Ugh. Arrow. Touchdown.”
6/23/09 – “Don’t believe everything you think.”
6/25/09 – “Put down that ukelele and play some music.”
6/31/09 – “Special ‘K’ tastes like krap.”
7/2/09 – “Mallets & Brushes & Bears, Oh my.”
7/7/09 – “Those who don’t know; don’t know. Those who do know; have been there.”
7/9/09 – “Music sounds better when you play the right notes.”
9/8/09 – “Dare to dream? Not here… Don’t you dare dream!”
9/9/09 – “I just made that word up.”
9/14/09 – “Okay, I confess. I know a little French.”
9/16/09 – “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.”
9/17/09 – “Crack open the book like an egg and practice.”
9/18/09 – “Chasing the schedule…”
9/22/09 – “Y’all movin’ ta Alabama?”
9/23/09 – “It’s a flute thing, I understand.”
9/25/09 – “Strong; like mallet.”
9/29/09 – “You have many awkward and dolphin-like tools.”
9/30/09 – “I love the smell of valve oil in the morning.”
10/01/09 – “Have no fear. It’s just the reverb.”
10/02/09 – “Mallet Heaven. Gotta love it.”
10/05/09 – “You can tell a lot about a person by the way they agree with you.”
10/06/09 – “You never want to pressure the critical components of your instrument.”
10/07/09 – “I’m a musician. Music hurts my ears.”
10/08/09 – “It’s better to try to hit the high “D” and miss than to never have tried at all.”
10/15/09 – “Oboes and Bells play together well.”
10/22/09 – “Intonation is perspective.”
10/23/09 – “Percussion is life, my friend.”
10/26/09 – “I’m a jerk, but I’m a benevolent jerk.”
10/28/09 – “I are a English Major.”
10/29/09 – “You need to fully apply your rudimental arsenal.”
11/09/09 – “You played that piece like the Giants play football.”
11/10/09 – “You can’t not use congas on Manteca.”
11/11/09 – “Expand your horizons with more cowbell.”
11/12/09 – “I love reverb. Reverb’s like butter on bread.”
12/01/09 – “With key signatures, sometimes two wrongs do make a right.”
12/08/09 – “If you can’t play the note correctly, play it inaudibly.”
12/17/09 – “Keep your words short and sweet in case you have to eat them.”
12/18/09 – “Don’t ask questions that you don’t want to know the answers to.”
1/16/10 – “During each rehearsal, ask yourself the following question, ‘Is my bell up?’”.
2/13/10 – “That sounded good. Don’t do it again.”
3/4/10 – “Trombone is one sweet ride.”
3/5/10 – “FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real.”
3/9/10 – “I need more testromberone”
4/16/10 – “No donuts for Peter”
10/6/10 – “Trombones; everybody means you.”
11/11/10 – “Right notes = Recognizable music.”
11/17/10 – “They’re responding well to treatment.” (referring to the 7th grade band’s status)
11/18/10 – “It’s Harry’s fault.”
1/7/11 – “That was a stately ‘D’. It knocked your music off and everything.”
2/14/11 – “It’s awkward, but cool.”
2/16/11 – “Be unto like Rufus; find your inner metronome.”
2/17/11 – “That was so eight measures ago.”
3/9/11 – “ ‘D’, as in money.”
3/17/11 – “Prepare ye for thy sonic assault.”
3/21/11 – “Back to the business of trumpet.”
3/24/11 – “But. Wait. Okay.”
4/5/11 – “Don’t be gettin’ in my way of gettin’ you better.”
4/11/11 – “Outta sight, outta mind.”
4/15/11 – “It smells like work in here.”
5/3/11 – “I speak for you instrument, ‘Ow, that really hurt.’”
5/6/11 – “He’s texting the President.”
5/13/11 – “Your guess is as good as mine.”
5/17/11 – “Stop having visuals, all of you.”
5/18/11 – “Use them as fills to the next ba-dop.”
5/23/11 – “Music is what feelings sound like.”
5/24/11 – “You need to appreciate the finer things in percussion.”
5/25/11 – “Yabba Dabba Doo – You gotta’ problem wit’ dat’?”
6/20/11 – “Just ask Justin.”
9/21/11 – “Best day ever.”
9/22/11 – “I am BUS! (a local bus driver trying to say that he’s the boss)”
10/10/11 – “Just because I’m wrong doesn’t mean you’re right.”
10/12/11 – “I’m only in your way to educate you.”
10/13/11 – “A little syncopation to brighten your day.”
10/14/11 – “Fingerings will make you wise in the ways of Tuba.”
10/27/11 – “ No sabers in the Bandroom.”
10/28/11 – “I said Hannah not Anna, not Anna not Hannah.”
11/2/11 – “I have my weapon, let’s play music.”
11/3/11 – “Stop dropping your tuba on your head or you’ll have tendonitis in your brain.”
11/9/11 – “That confusion that you speak of would be eighth notes.”
11/14/11 – “Would you like to join my conversation to nowhere?”
11/22/11 – “Timing isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.”
11/29/11 – “You’re giving me string cheese when all I want is downbeats.”
12/22/11 – “I just had a convergence.”
1/3/12 – “It’s so true, it’s painful.”
1/11/12 – “Thou Band dost Rock.”
1/18/12 – “Time flies when you’re having band.”
1/23/12 – “ Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three wrongs make a drummer.”
1/30/12 – “Just because you can play loud doesn’t mean you should.”
1/31/12 – “Stop taking yourself seriously.”
2/7/12 – “You have all the musicality of a truck.”
2/8/12 – “The last six measures destroyed some of my brain cells.”
2/13/12 – “There’s no ‘I’ in better part.”
2/14/12 – “Wow, you’re working really hard to play wrong notes.”
2/16/12 – “He’s a jerk, but he’s a good bass player.”
2/29/12 – “Complain first, ask questions later.”
3/2/12 – “My reed is broken and so is my heart.”
3/8/12 – Percussophile (n) (lat.) 1. A very bad person 2. Someone who should stay away from all percussion instruments (this includes many percussionists and all drummers) 3. Someone likely to appear in various police records
3/13/12 – “Pessimism: It’s a way of life.”
3/16/12 – “You’re being a percussophile; wandering around the percussion section, bad-touching everything.”
3/23/12 – “I must be a pessimist – my coffee cup is half empty.”
3/26/12 – “There’s an “I” in bind but not in band.”
3/27/12 – “Stop making fun of me with your eyes.”
3/28/12 – “That’s your most egregious timing error yet.”
3/29/12 – “You made me better which made me worse.”
4/30/12 – “My concert would suck without you.”
5/1/12 – “Thou shalt not kill but Thou shall strive to be killer.”
5/4/12 – “Nothing says “band” like candy.”
5/22/12 – “Don’t look him in the eyes, he’ll just take that as a threat to take a solo.”
5/24/12 – “That wasn’t just a solo, that was an exorcism.”
5/30/12 – “You can’t handle the cut-time.”
9/17/12 – “Don’t complain. No one cares.”
9/20/12 – “Then thou drool will flow freely from thine mouth.”
9/27/12 – “It’s my way or the exit ramp.”
10/3/12 – “ To wobble or not to wobble; that is the question.”
10/8/12 – Q: “How many measures rest is π?”
A1: “Come in on the upbeat of one in the fourth measure (in swing).”
A2: “In 7/8 or 7/4, it would be 22 counts of eighth or quarter notes respectively.”
A2 (a): “Enter on the second eighth or quarter (respectively) of the fourth measure.”
10/15/12 – “Why hast thou Eb’s forsaken me?”
10/16/12 – “Without music, life would Bb.”
10/18/12 – “Shut no it didn’t.”
10/19/12 – “Long Tones: Boring yet effective.”
11/29/12 – “Time flies when you have the melody.”
12/7/12 – “The reward for playing jazz is playing jazz.”
12/10/12 – “I’m surrounded by weirdos and I’m okay with that.”
12/11/12 – “What happens in the Bandroom stays in the Bandroom.”
1/10/13 – “I hate kids, that’s why I’m a teacher.”
1/14/13 – “Every kind of music is great, except the boring kind.”
1/15/13 – “And so, my fellow Band members: ask not what your band can do for you – ask what you can do for your band.”
1/17/13 – Namicks: One volume level. “Die Namicks.”
1/18/13 – “My part is duller than a drummer.”
2/25/13 – “What is going on here?”
2/26/13 – “You’re better than you think you are but you’re not more important than anyone else.”
3/1/13 – “Woodwinds: The Unbrass.”
3/12/13 – “Snare drum is just that background noise that occurs during band music.”
3/14/13 – “Scales are the gateway to musical understanding.”
3/21/13 – “The clarinet will rise again.”
4/8/13 – “The few, the proud, the Woodwind Ensemble.”
4/9/13 – “A high ‘D’ to brighten your day.”
6/10/13 – “Band = Cool”
6/11/13 – “Self-esteem? Overrated. Character? That’s what counts.”
6/12/13 – “In Time We Trust.”
6/13/13 – “Timeliness is next to Godliness.”
9/24/13 – “Your trumpet playing defies the laws of physics.”
10/28/13 – “I love contact sports; football, lacrosse, percussion.”
11/16/13 – “Flutes: The great wall of shrill.”
11/18/13 – “Become one with your posture.”
11/21/13 – “5/4 Time hurts.”
11/26/13 – “The first step to immortality is mortality.”
12/2/13 – “I don’t know what summatives are but I know I don’t like them.”
12/3/13 – “We’re not going to let a concert stop us from playing music.”
12/6/13 – “Here’s a metaphysical question: Can God be creepy?”
1/6/14 – “He cheated; he practiced.”
1/9/14 – “Free is my favorite price.”
1/28/14 – “What do I have to do to get a simple Bb around here?”
2/5/14 – “Sometimes what I want and what I like are two different things.”
2/12/14 – “It’s weird. Just like you.”
2/20/14 – “Those high ‘B’s’, they’re really turbulent.”
2/21/14 – “You’re polluting the air with lies.”
2/24/14 – “The best effort is mutual effort.”
2/25/14 – “Gentlemen, start your instruments.”
2/17/14 – “You are my favorite student; just like everyone else.”
3/17/14 – “Less talk, more roll.”
3/20/14 – “Uptempo Country music is like Clifford Brown meets Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.”
3/21/14 – “Nothing says ‘Jamaica’ like clarinets.”
3/31/14 – “Complaints first, questions later.”
5/13/14 – “It’s a simple choice: Be inspired, or quit.”
5/15/14 – “How do I prepare for a concert? I check the New York Times Book Review.”
5/19/14 – “I had dinner for breakfast.”
6/5/14 – “I’m distracted by my own metaphor.”
6/16/14 – “Too many saxophones spoil the band.”
9/22/14 – “Coffee defines me.”
9/26/14 – “Seven Tenor Saxes and eight Baritone Horns are a recipe for sonic disaster.”
10/2/14 – “Yep.”
10/7/14 – “It’s so easy, it’s hard.”
10/8/14 – “What part of ‘blah, blah, blah’ don’t you understand?”
10/17/14 – “Give me an ‘F’” “F”
“Give me a ‘Sharp’” “#”
“What’s that spell?” “F#”
10/21/14 – “Scales are the nectar of melodies.”
10/27/14 – “The few, the proud, the Band.”
10/30/14 – “It will…”
11/3/14 – “If at first you don’t succeed, try reading the music.”
11/5/14 – “ ‘D’: as in, key change.”
11/10/14 – “2 – 4 – 7 – 8: What do we appreciate? LESSONS.”
11/11/14 – “In board I trust.”
12/1/14 – “Pride goeth before a wrong note.”
12/4/14 – “I don’t know music but I do know a squeak when I hear it.”
12/5/14 – “Clarinet: Beautifully awkward.”
12/10/14 – “It’s a Band thing, you wouldn’t understand.”
01/08/15 – “There’s no “No thanks” in Jazz Band.”
01/20/15 – “I’m brimming with patience.”
01/21/15 – “Everybody is treated equally unfairly.”
02/05/15 – “I have a glue gun and I’m not afraid to use it.”
02/12/15 – “Does this bass match my outfit?”
03/10/15 – “It’s insane, so let’s do it.”
03/23/15 – “It’s written on the board so it must be true.”
03/26/15 – “I put 2 & 2 together and got π”
04/14/15 – “It won’t affect your playing; just your mood.”
04/23/15 – “Pride goeth before the chair falls.”
04/24/15 – “Valve oil: liquid gold.”
04/29/15 – “It’s why I do Band.”
05/06/15 – “ This is Woodwind Ensemble; the Land of Inappropriate.”
05/12/15 – “My tie is worse than my bite.”
05/13/15 – “Your bad timing couldn’t have been better timed.”
05/26/15 – “Behave yourself by going away.”
07/02/15 – “Led Zeppelin had no sense of time signature."
07/08/15 – “It's so deep, your ears hurt."
07/09/15 – “Michael The King, let's play some swing."
09/10/15 – “Let’s try that high-five again; this time without injury.”
10/01/15 – “You’re not practicing? You should be.”
10/13/15 – “Band first; Everything else second.”
10/14/15 – “I’m a Band Director; I like correct notes.”
10/15/15 – “The ‘C’ Scale is the beginning of Trombone torment.”
10/21/15 – “ “Leaders” “
10/22/15 – “Nothing like a good Montuno to start your day.”
10/26/15 – “We are not obsessed.”
10/30/15 – “Take care of your instrument and it will take care of you.”
11/09/15 – “I need to become more intelligent”
“That was the smartest thing you said.”
11/12/15 – “No more ambulation around here.”
11/16/15 – “Philosophical moments: Gotta’ love ‘em.”
11/19/15 – “The French Horn is the invisible glue that holds the Band together.”
11/23/15 – “I will never ‘Stop Believin’” (as in; Journey)
11/23/15 – “The quote is greater than the source.”
11/25/15 – “Best mistake ever.”
11/30/15 – “No more cymbal assaults.”
12/02/15 – “Stop talking; you’re hurting my ears.”
12/09/15 – “Drummers: No brain, no pain.”
12/10/15 – “Boulevard of Broken Clarinets.”
12/15/15 – “Failure is not an option.”
12/18/15 – “I’m too lazy to sit down.”
1/4/16 – “To Band or not to Band? There is no question. Just Do It.”
1/11/16 – “Cowards die many times before their death; the Valiant never taste of death but once.”
- William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
- “Let’s dance.”
- David Bowie (1947-2016)
1/13/16 – “It’s the only song he can play and he can’t even play that one.”
1/14/16 – “The water in your horn is creating an undiscovered articulation.”
2/8/16 – “Unlike sports, Band has no losers; only drummers.”
2/10/16 – “There’s no substitute for a strong weak hand.”
2/22/16 – “Now is the Winter of our discontent; no more days off until the end of March.”
- William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
2/24/16 – “It’s a Woodwind thing, you wouldn’t understand.”
3/2/16 – “The reed that broke the camel’s back.”
3/3/16 – “Don’t hate the song, hate the way we play it.”
3/8/16 – “Did you teach him to count to three yet?”
3/9/16 – “Put your mallets where your mouth is.”
4/14/16 – “You can lead a Brass player to water, but you can’t make him empty the spit-valve.”
4/22/16 – “It’s a stack of papers which makes it important.”
5/9/16 – “BNA: Band Nucleic Acid – The stuff that Band is made of.”
6/13/16 – “It sounds good until you listen to it.”
6/28/16 – “I like to keep my enemies close and my saxophones closer.”
6/5/16 – “It’s only funny until someone loses a drumstick.”
6/7/16 – “It’s not what you start, it’s what you finish.”
7/12/16 – “Real men play pocket trumpet.”